The Eleven Constantines

The one Constantine we have no trouble remembering

The one Constantine we have no trouble remembering

Here is an update on the Constantine Acronym or Acrostic or Mnemonic or whatever we decide to make it which I mentioned back in episode 76. A few brave listeners sent in suggestions and I thought I’d post the two best I’ve seen. I’ll keep updating them every century until we find a version that works the best. Let me know what you think.

Listener SM

Christianized the Roman state,
Oldest of three heirs of the Great.
Never made it past month four,
Stopped the Arabs at the door.
Theophanes called him dung,
Assassinated by his mum.
Newborn in purple was his name,
Tall and cruel, inept and lame.
I fought alone against the Normans,
No more Italy for the Romans.
Emperor fell and so did the Byzantines,
So we have eleven Constantines.

Listener JF

Constantine the great was first; he built the imperial city,
Constantine the second, died young, his three year reign gave pity,
Constantine the third, of the west, reigned along with another,
Constantine the third, of the rest, split with his half-brother,
Constantine the fourth, reigned long, his son’s nose was slit,
Constantine the fifth, broke idols, he gave the Bulgars shit,
Constantine the sixth, raised at nine, killed blind as a fighter,
Constantine the seventh, purple-born, from the shadows to a writer,
Constantine the eighth’s daughter Zoe, was stately in her carriage,
Constantine the ninth, wed Zoe to gain the throne by marriage,
Constantine the tenth, zealot & bureaucrat, used mercenaries not the army,
Constantine the eleventh lost the empire to the Turks which sent the listeners barmy….

Categories: News | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “The Eleven Constantines

  1. Wayne Cerullo

    #1 really good

  2. KL

    An amendment:
    “Tall and cruel, inept and lame.
    I fought alone against the Normans,”

    could instead be,

    “Took the crown when Basil died,
    I had the name of one-eyed.”

  3. Dan

    Listener SM for sure.

  4. Tooth Fairy

    Pneumonic? Surely mnemonic.

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